Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Damage Control's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Sunday, October 17th, 2004
3:25 pm	Oh, Troy! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
9:02 pm	Graceland Incidents and Accidents Yesterday I got upset and went to hang out with Lituo. I wasn't paying attention while crossing the street and hit a car. That is to say, a black SUV was turning the corner in the dark as I had my head turned to check for oncoming traffic. I kicked the underside of the car and was remarkably unscathed. My days have been going so well. I'm having a lot of fun in class, with people from class, and otherwise. Today, though, I have dry heaves. I tried to eat twice, but couldn't. What little I got down wouldn't stay put. I only ate once yesterday. I have no appetite. Obviously, there's a directly proportionate relationship to how shitty I feel and how fit I look. I didn't sleep long last night and will miss my first class again tomorrow morning due to lack of preparation and a need to sleep. Hints and Allegations Yesterday I jumped to a conclusion and was wrong. I learned not one but two rumors were true! What are the odds? We're covering probability in S118, so given enough information, I could tell you! I love math. The Last Thing on My Mind On the plus side, this week's Onion is pleasing and full of puns. Anything else I write would be counterproductive to feeling better, so that's it for this journal. What a way to go. Current Music: Rolling Stones - Angie (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 25th, 2004
1:01 pm	Working Out - the new, socially acceptable SI. Not that you can't have both! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
8:52 pm	I've learned a couple valuable lessons in the past week and to ensure you don't fall prey to the same pitfalls as I, I'm going to share them with you. On the night of the Perlman concert, Jee and I met at the Dragon Express, which continues to hold it’s reputation as Bloomington’s premiere digestive. It finally occurred to me where the Express comes from. So, learn to run in heels because, come intermission, there’s no stopping the Dragon Express. Toot toot! I slept through lunch and so, around four o’clock, I was outside the Union when I was seized by a fit of undeniable hunger. I ate at Burger King. I paid and I paid dearly. An empty stomach cannot handle Burger King and since one oughtn’t eat unless one has an empty stomach, clearly one ought never to eat Burger King. Ever. I also have troubles showering that people my age shouldn’t have. Almost every third shower, I get soap or shampoo in my eye. Last time, it was conditioner. Today it was exfoliating scrub. Sure it burned, but you should feel how soft my eyeballs are! Current Mood: happy Current Music: The Kinks - Set Me Free (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
8:14 pm	After being down for two weeks, I'm finally done (and I do mean both in the sense of "done for good" and "it's about time!"). Of course, I had a six month break, so fourteen days out of one hundred and twenty isn't bad. I've been getting dizzy a lot lately. I've also been feeling rubbery, which is the feeling I get upon drinking too much coffee on an empty stomach. I think I've been working out too much, so I've started gyming every other day. Of course, I get really wound if I don't go every day. I've been eating non-stop yesterday and today in one of those fits of "I can't get full"ness. Maybe it's better to sit and let my body eat itself for awhile. Tonight I saw a white American dude speaking Chinese seemingly effortlessly. It came to me that I'd never seen a white dude speaking Chinese before. I thought that was pretty cool. I also recently realised that two girls I talk to and really like in two different classes both have mildly lazy eyes. I'm going to the opera with Du on Friday and I'm pretty excited about that! Current Mood: hungry Current Music: REM (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
11:21 pm	You ate it! Dated I had three dates today! Three! Three! Okay, I'm lying. I haven't been feeling excited about anything lately, but I thought I could get you to feel excited for me. I lunched with Jeff at the Bombay Buffet, met Bill for coffee, and then met Ahmed in the Union. He had coffee, I didn't. Of course, I don't want to consider lunch a date, but it probably was. Coffee wasn't a date because it was with Bill. But that still counts as one! One! One! See? Not as easy to get excited about. I also got stood up for econ study. I saw the dude about five minutes before we were supposed to meet. He was walking as he talked on his cell phone, so I imagine he forgot. I was irritated (cell phones!) until I realised I could go to the gym earlier than I had planned. I was there for an hour and a half and finally felt like I was getting somewhere! I saw a girl who was all cut up and wanted to say something to her, but didn't. It reminded me of the time on the MITS bus when a similar alterna-dude pressed the stop-bar for a feeble old man who couldn't do it himself, but kept trying I didn't talk to him either. Real Paid Tomorrow, I meet with Galina Alexandrovna. I'll get paid then, too. Happily, I've become more productive. Sadly this means that, as an hourly worker, I get less pay. Soma This summer was arguably the best time I've had at IU yet. For some reason, I assumed all the positive elements would carry over into the school year, which they haven't. Some of them have, but so have the bad parts of the past two years. It's weird when everything is going well, but nothing's really exciting in either direction. I don't like that feeling, but there are worse. I mean, I'd choose angst before emo, but after being told my highs are too high and my lows are too low, maybe this is a welcome change. Classes There's this girl in my lit class I've been strangely attracted to since the second day, which is weird because 1) she's a chick and 2) she's not that pretty. I mean, you wouldn't think she's pretty. She's short, "solid" as they say, and delicately swarthy. And she studies Arabic. Before you say what you're thinking, let me say this: shut up. I think it's her finger nails. I love my math class and have been visiting my professor. I also met math chick at review. She's my favorite new person of the year. Everything that can be going well is swimming along as it ever was, but I don't have enough focus to do anything about it. How come... I downloaded Eminem's new song? I couldn't understand the lyrics. Every time I heard it, I swore up and down he was singing in a Cockney accent at certain parts. Post download, I still couldn't figure it out, so I looked up the lyrics. I'll save you the trouble - he's not. Current Music: Janis Joplin - MOVE OVER (Comment on this)
Friday, September 10th, 2004
8:14 pm	2hott4me2handl Your Ultimate One Night Stand... by crispnite LJ Username Favorite animal You invite over... They bring... You talk about... You end up... getting tattoos! Quiz created with MemeGen! Current Mood: Rumballs! Current Music: Janis Joplin - Summertime (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 5th, 2004
6:31 pm	Using this thing so often makes me feel really lame. I'm tutoring three people in two subjects - one person in two! I've been feeling pretty bummed all week, but found if you don't tell people, they act the same and upbeat and, thus, snap me out of it. If I try the "honesty" bit, people do one of two things: they make fun of me because they don't understand, thus making things worse, or they encourage negative feelings. I fucking hate it when I just want to tell someone something and I end up getting advice. Fuck that. So, in summary, problems I'm having are as follows: 1. My parents' random "life improving" decisions (ie. me graduating in the fall and going to grad school at IU in the spring" 2. Sadness (menstrual or crazy?) 3. Old habits. 4. Honesty. 5. Boys. 6. My fucking internet kicking out. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Current Mood: Bill the Cat Current Music: Prick - Into My Arms (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
11:54 pm	JANE SAYS... I've started reading poetry again. You know what that means! It's my sixth month anniversary. Life sure moves in cycles, huh? Current Mood: restless Current Music: Joan Baez - A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
5:59 pm	I possess an egg of evil, which is responsible for my lack of will to do anything other than sleep, reject food, and entertain the ridiculous notion that I need to be cuddled and am not due to changes in standards of beauty from the Victorian. It coincides curiously with my Internet's decision to quit working and may play some role in the presence of about forty freshman b-schoolers in my math class, but somehow I don't think that will change in the next three days. (Comment on this)
Monday, August 30th, 2004
3:06 pm	I've been hired, thanks to Gospozha Harwell, by my Russian professor to draw illustrations for her 3rd year textbook. I found out the drawings won't be included in the book, but are used in the orals. I'm not complaining. I'm also set up to do about three hours of tutoring a week. One girl wants me to teach her Latin so she can prepare for grad school. I wouldn't mind teaching someone from scratch, but it means I've got to learn it first! I'll still be working in the lab, but how long, how often, and how dependably are questionable. I'm taking Advanced Russian, in which everyone but myself and one or two others is a grad student. Also in the lineup are Russian Translation, Russian Lit, International Trade, and Finite. I went back to KY for hiking and the zoo. It was fun, but ended badly. Who will go out and play in the leaves and snow with me? I'll have a hard time buckling down and getting to work because going out is such fun. I require near constant stimulation these days. I love my living situation. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
9:38 pm	The Old Out/In/Out/In My sublease was up the twentieth and I wasn’t allowed to move into my new apartment (directly downstairs) until the twenty fifth because it had to be cleaned. So, obediently, I the 18th, I began moving my worldly possessions into the living room of Apt. 4, thus rendering passage through it nearly impossible. To pass the time, I stayed with Chris in KY, thus making my third journey to that state. Never Did No Wandering Except around Louisville. Try as I might, I still can’t pronounce the name in a satisfactory manner. If the city had been the namesake of Louis XIV, I wouldn’t feel so bad about it, but it was named after Louis XVI. I’m pretty clueless, but I have to hand it to someone who doesn’t notice a revolution. He’s my king. I want my damn cake. Anyway, I got hit on more in those five days than I probably have in my entire life. I actually didn’t want to leave the house at one point, but it’s flattering nonetheless. Perhaps I seem young and vulnerable. Maybe it’s because I’m stupid. I’d just gotten out of the shower when the pest control man let himself into the apt. He came back later after I’d panted. It seemed like an opportunity to get information from someone who knew what there was to do during the day. He saw it as an opportunity to pick me up. It seemed like one of those things that could have ended very badly for me. Luckily, it ended very badly for him. http://www.wagenschenke.ch/ Junkie I moved back on the 20th, only to find the complex won’t clean rooms while residents still reside there…so. Every time I unpack, I realize how much stuff I have and wonder how I got it, why I have it, and why I can’t part with it. Then, I find new and innovative ways to stow it away so I look clean. I have decorated charmingly. In fact, I tried six different arrangements in order to get internet reception. I called today and some repair guys came to look at it. Right before my appointment time, the damn thing kicked on. It always happens, right? It turns out, it kicked on because they fixed it. The cable responsible for sending me information had been yanked out of the wall. That was the cause of three days of anguish. Scheduling I’m now down to fifteen credits: Advanced Russian Russian Lit Russian Translation Honor’s Finite International Trade Additionally, I’ll be working in bio lab, but hopefully only a few hours a week, and tutoring in both Latin and Russian. I’m teaching Latin from scratch, which is a terrifying prospect because that means I’ll have to learn it first. Damn. Galina Alexandrovna I’m also doing work for one of the Russian professors, illustrating her textbooks. I had my first meeting with her today to flesh out exactly what we’ll be doing. She paid me at the end of the meeting, telling me I now had money for “liquor and boys,” at which point she erupted into giggles. I know she was a young child in 1938. She doesn’t look terribly haggard, leading me to believe she’s immortal. HIT! I went to the grocery store the other day for the first time in what must be about six weeks. I spent $50 on what I thought was all healthy food. I felt really good – between this and running, like I’m continuing in the “healthy” direction. I couldn’t understand, then, why my stomach has been going to bits. It turns out almost everything I bought is extremely high in fat. To round things out, Shell and I saw the worst movie ever. Damn it all. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Del Shannon - My Little Runaway (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 12th, 2004
10:22 am	Five finals in four days! I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: I DID IT! Current Music: I DID IT! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 6th, 2004
4:06 pm	Well, how did I get here? Wednesday and Thursday were days of extreme highs and confusing lows. I got a second wind in regards to Russian, which is good considering my schedule: Monday: 3 page paper, oral exam Tuesday: oral exam Wednesday: seven page written exam, oral exam Thursday: cumulative final exam Wednesday, I panicked because it suddenly hit me that I had no idea what day it was. The last I knew, it had been 4 AM Monday morning. I panicked, checked my watch, the school computer, the New York Times, and asked two people before accepting that it was, in fact, no longer Monday, but Wednesday evening. I got a voicemail from Jackie and was so excited I've been waiting for the weekend to arrive so I can call her back. I also kept running into people I don't usually see, haven't seen in a long time, or having conversations with random people, which always makes me happy. Not making me happy was my stradling the fence about Serhiy, wanting to go out with him more, but not wanting things to head too far in a certain direction. On Wednesday, I posed my dilemma to someone else; however, I was saved the trouble by an email which said, "I'm leaving the country tomorrow." What? I must say, I felt a lot sadder than I thought I would, though I never even considered the possibility that he would, in fact, leave and I'd never see him again. Jee thinks I'll use my superior stalking skills to hunt him down in Ukraine. The Letter was so nice that I actually almost started to cry reading it. The only way I can describe it is to say I felt like I should have been in a motherfucking Jane Austen novel. Gross. There was a great deal of swooning, melancholy, exhilaration, and introspection, which later led to some interpersonal relations complications and the realisation that while I'm more or less in the same situation I was this time a year ago, I'm handling it much better this time around. Go, maturity! I mean, go away. Romantic intrigue! A good friend of mine asked me for relationship advice today. The whole idea of it is incomprehensible to me, especially if you're seeing other people, as was this case. It's essentially agreeing that the other person's presence is temporary until someone better comes along. At any rate, I apparently gave good advice and if it wasn't, at least, he said it was comforting. That's good to know, considering how full of bad ideas I am. I like to think, though, that even while I may be full of bad ideas, I at least have the gumption to follow through with them until the end. Like Ibrahim. Or repotting a plant on freshly washed sheets. I meant well, but that's not to say it ended well. Current Mood: ! Current Music: Garbage - Special (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
12:35 am	I neglected to mention that Jackie was at the wedding. I considered her my best friend in tenth grade and found out she considered me hers, even though she didn't recognise me at first. : ) Jackie was my favourite my-age person. Did I ever tell you how much I love her? As much as I love Jeeha, and that's not a little. In the big scheme, she's up there with Ms. Harris, Dr. McCane, (Watson), and Richter. That says something. My 101 Russian teacher had to bring her baby to class. I was embarrassed by myself. I wanted to snatch the little bastard and run. Yes, I picked up b.c. today (thanks Jee!). Current Music: Cocco - Kumoji no Hate (Comment on this)
Monday, August 2nd, 2004
1:28 pm	Little Homewreck...maker! On Thursday, Mr. Sydney Bosley and Assoc. dropped by and delivered my new (used) desk. On Friday, Mr. and Mrs. Morrison dropped by and helped me move my new bed and dresser. For what may be the first time in my life, I've yet to experience buyer's remorse. Considering I spent $125 on new furniture, I'm proud! I get physically excited about my furniture every time I see or think of it. That my dad was amazed by the quality and price of my purchases only serves to encourage me. Springtime Is when everyone wants to get married. Sunday evening, Jee and I attended a mutual friend's wedding. It was, needless to say, beautiful and probably made most people want one. Luckily there's no one to marry. Plus, I read an article on the BBC about pregnancy. In the later stages, it's possible to see the baby's hands and feet pressing against your skin as it kicks and punches the bejesus out of your innards!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I told my mum about it and she said I did that. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time apologising. Does that terrify anyone else?!?! Moreover, I left my birthcontrol in mum and dad's car. The first thing I did today was to call the health center and refill my prescription. No little sack of skin and bones is going to punch through me!!! Time Warp It's always strange going back to Warsaw since there are very few people I keep in touch with. It was stranger at the wedding because the people there were not the people I keep in touch with. Plus, after being four years away, I remember everyone as they were when I left, that is to say sixteen and in gym class. Weird. Even weirder to hear them (and see them!) doing "grown-up" things. I felt more like I was with little kids who were playing house. Disclaimer That's not to say I'm mature, because, well...I'm not. I'll give you an example. Mrs. The girl we sat with talked the entire time about her boyfriend/fiance and her wedding planning book. She just turned 18 and is majoring child development, but only because she knows one day her kids will grow up and she'll have nothing to do, but really she only wants to get married and be a stay-at-home mom. She's getting hitched as soon as she graduates in three years. Being an ass, I asked, "Why wait the extra two? Why not do it next year?" She thought I was serious. Self-Image I'm becoming more of an ass, or at least, more open about being one. I can't help feeling, as time goes by, I'm becoming less and less of a good person. For example, I tend to avoid, if not resent, several bums. I've also become an "ENTJ" instead of an "INTP." Whoever thought they'd live to see the day when I'm classified as extroverted? Oh, Yeah I keep getting Cs on quizzes. Goddamn. Current Mood: Sick of School Current Music: PJ Harvey - This is Love (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 31st, 2004
1:29 am	"I said, Goddamn!" Early one morning (just as the sun was rising) After a late night of studying with Jeeha and film watching, I was prepared to get up early to phone Jee to make sure she got up and then to do more studying myself. I hadn't however, prepared to go to bed sometime after one and to wake up sometime around 4.30 right as it was getting let. I looked at the wall and saw something and saw the words "DO IT" written twice upon my wall. I assumed it meant to call Jeeha. Then I realised that was preposterous since there was nothing shaped remotely like a "J." Then I panicked wondering who in the hell wrote it and what sinister thing they wanted me to do. I started to calm down when I realised that wasn't possible and it had to, after all, be binary. Someone was writing messages on my wall in code! It was, of course, the morning light coming through my fans. Oops. That little episode didn't throw me enough that'd I'd forget to turn in a final, oh no. Nearly, but not enough. Legs that just won't quit ...running. Tonight I ran seven miles in 74 minutes. It's a long time, but it was also a long run. I could have kept going, but I began to stop sweating so I stopped running. Conclusion Based upon this morning's events, I may have lost my mind. Based upon this evening's, I may have lost all use of my lower body. Ow. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Pearl Jam - Smile (Comment on this)
Monday, July 26th, 2004
11:40 pm	Weekend Update I can't sleep. I blame eating a full meal (for once) at 11.00 PM. But dammit, that spaghetti was good. Friday Jee and I went to an all-you-care-to-eat Indian buffet for lunch and stayed there for an hour and a half. That's dedication. With the food, the waiters, and a sighting of my piano teacher, it may also have been love. Or at least obsession and over-indulgence. That night we went to a party where I knew no one and, for once, was older than almost everyone there by a couple of years. I had less to say than usual. Friday night and Saturday were spent in a people-hating funk. Such things happen, I suppose. What Ever Happened to Saturday Night? I tagged along, yet again, with Jee to another birthday party. This time, however, it was with people older than I and I was one of the few Caucasians there. Those times always seem to be the most fun and I've yet to figure out why. Sure, I look white, but really? Sunday Sunday had my favourite kind of weather - the sky was bright, but overcast. It was cool and breezy and somewhat damp. It drizzled a bit, but wasn't too wet. I always feel frisky during such weather. I also saw the Bourne Supremecy after a speed-viewing of the Bourne Identity. Movies go much more quickly when one can cut out unnecessary dialogue and scenes without explosions (those are the ones that last forever). Plot? It had Russian, so it didn't need one. I was so keyed up afterwards, I had trouble sleeping. Today I got an email about careers in the NSA. Paired with yesterday's movie-marathon, I'm ready to drop out of school and become a woman of international intrigue. Even though it was only one night It was fuckin' strange! I came home. Steve was cleaning. Bill had groceries. My world was turned upside down. Etc, etc *I bought a bed and matching dresser for next school year. Rejoice for me, for I am proactive. *I'm also having scheduling trauma. Do I take the class I've wanted for almost two years or the honors section of a class which is required?! *It seems like many people find it acceptable to snort, hack, and otherwise make loud bodily noises whilst in the company and close proximity of others. I wonder 1) why this is and 2) why they sit next to me. *I skipped hanging out with Aaron to go to Wylie. I had the pleasure of the company of random girl and...Serhiy. I waved and then sat across the room, writing emails and wondering how I could leave without talking to him. I settled upon waiting until enough people trickled in and then running like hell when a big group arrived. I can't help but think there was a better way to handle that. Current Mood: WOUND Current Music: Moby - Extreme Ways (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 25th, 2004
7:02 pm	Today felt like fall! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY! :) Friday night - Saturday night was a day when I hated everyone, but, of course, it got better. Fall! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 16th, 2004
3:01 pm	Learning Methodology New Kid on the Bloc Through copious experimentation lately, I've concluded class is way more fun if I let it all go and make a complete ass of myself. We laugh, the teacher loves it, and I've got no pride, so - no problem! The defining moment was Wednesday with Christine. We went to Wylie Hall (econ building crawling with Russians) where we loudly, dramatically, and spasmodically memorised a poem by A. Blok, which we were to recite the next day. Pictures were drawn and, as we passed by the Russians on our way out, dirty looks were given. I only rehearsed it once more that night, while in the bathroom. The next morning, it became clear the only way I could successfully deliver the poem was to recreate one of my learning environs. I hoped the professor wouldn't object to my flailing because the alternative would have been embarrassing, even for me. Alternative Methods My friend, Christine, is in the Navy and about to retire next year. Twelve years ago, she studied Russian from 8-4 daily with 1/2 an hour for lunch. Post-test today, we all talked about studying. "Back then, when I had oral exams, I sat in the lobby and started slamming down the khalua and milk. I went in there and govoreeted my little head off! I did great!" Unsolved Mysteries In music class in fifth grade, I remember seeing a poster on the wall for solfege in sign language. I thought it was neat and taught myself. I'm embarrassed to admit, it wasn't until this year when I discussed it with a friend that this most important thing was pointed out... IT DOESN'T MATTER! There's solfege sign language! Why?! It has to be the most useless thing ever! I asked a friend who's a music major. Apparently music majors are taught it so they can teach the deaf an all inclusive musical learning extravaganza. I still don't understand it. If you have insight to this or Jews for Jesus, help me out. No joke. Last semester I had a class next to the sign language room and I'd go by there and would just hear the sounds of slapping flesh and the occasional grunt. I really liked it on days they had tests, because I'd love to see the completely silent "oral" section in the hall. It made me want to learn it. Near Death Yesterday I had a two part oral exam followed today with another two-part oral exam and five page written exam. On the way home, I nearly bit it when two conversion vans speeding down an alley nearly crashed head on directly to my left. My puppy is going to be put down, perhaps in the next two weeks. My friend was in the hospital for a week, but he's okay now. He can't drink for six months, which is amusing because he's the biggest drunk ever. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Binky the Doormat (2 Comments |Comment on this)